The win in the losing...

I have wanted this gig for years! She has been a treasured songwriter in my life for decades, and every time I sit in the audience at one of her shows, I wish I could be the opening act. One day, I saw that she was coming to a nearby town, and I knew if I didn’t ask, then the answer would surely be no, so I asked. 

When the promoter of the show quickly said yes, I felt so much joy that I thought my heart would explode. This was my dream gig, and it was within reach! I think I may have actually screamed. My cats would remember…
 
When he said yes, he told me that there were things beyond his control that might also be in play, but that he would do his best to get me the booking. Through the weeks of negotiation, I felt him strongly in my corner. We both waited, and waited, and waited some more for the final verdict. 
 
Ultimately, I didn’t get the gig, but instead of feeling sad, I decided to focus on what I had gained in the process. It was validating to know that this promoter of shows featuring wonderful, well-known artists, saw me as worthy of the booking.  That is a deeply treasured victory. Also, over the many weeks of negotiation and uncertainty, I slowly built a relationship with a very kind man, who is more likely to think of me again. 
 
He really did want to book me. He said next time. I hope so…
 
(It feels right to keep the names of the players in this story to myself. It is the spirit of the experience that I want to share. Have you ever almost touched a dream?)

6 comments

  • Debbie

    Debbie Wynnewood

    What is so remarkable about you is that you were able to build a rapport with this promoter, who will now remember who you are. So many of us (myself included) when faced with rejection, choose to walk away, and thereby miss possibilities that are left behind. I admire your persistence and grace.

    What is so remarkable about you is that you were able to build a rapport with this promoter, who will now remember who you are. So many of us (myself included) when faced with rejection, choose to walk away, and thereby miss possibilities that are left behind. I admire your persistence and grace.

  • Denise Moser

    Denise Moser

    Thank you Debbie. I appreciate that. I think relationships are essential to any success. I treasure building them with the folks who kindly like my music and writing, and with the gatekeepers who can offer me opportunities to reach more people and have some fun. I am learning that it is a slow climb, but when I look back, I can see that I am gaining ground. Thanks for being in my corner...

    Thank you Debbie. I appreciate that. I think relationships are essential to any success. I treasure building them with the folks who kindly like my music and writing, and with the gatekeepers who can offer me opportunities to reach more people and have some fun. I am learning that it is a slow climb, but when I look back, I can see that I am gaining ground. Thanks for being in my corner...

  • harry david

    harry david maine

    i'm with Debbie about the optimism and perseverance you continue to show in your music career. To see the up side of rejection takes a strength i admire. i always need a bit of time to wallow in my misery first, then i may get to that validation piece where i gain some self-respect from realizing i am moving forward. way to go D; and i hope this new business friend offers you another opportunity to play in one of their shows soon. i look forward to playing an open mic with you; if i ever get back to philly.

    i'm with Debbie about the optimism and perseverance you continue to show in your music career. To see the up side of rejection takes a strength i admire. i always need a bit of time to wallow in my misery first, then i may get to that validation piece where i gain some self-respect from realizing i am moving forward. way to go D; and i hope this new business friend offers you another opportunity to play in one of their shows soon. i look forward to playing an open mic with you; if i ever get back to philly.

  • Denise Moser

    Denise Moser

    Hi Harry D, Thanks! I have made a practice of being positive. I don't always pull it off, but I try my best to. I have learned that my thoughts and my mindset are powerful, and that what I focus on is what gets bigger. There were a few tears over this, but they didn't last long. I hope we get to play together some time, either in Philly or in Maine. Let's plan on it... Thanks again! D

    Hi Harry D, Thanks! I have made a practice of being positive. I don't always pull it off, but I try my best to. I have learned that my thoughts and my mindset are powerful, and that what I focus on is what gets bigger. There were a few tears over this, but they didn't last long. I hope we get to play together some time, either in Philly or in Maine. Let's plan on it... Thanks again! D

  • Bryan Abes

    Bryan Abes Kennett square, PA

    Hey Denise! Congrats on almost touching that dream! Would that dream be performing at the Philly folk festival? I hafta say without a moment's ponder, that the one and only dream I actually HAVE touched is joining the choir. All other dreams I've tried to chase, wound up as rejection. I wasn't even made to feel like I was worthy of acception. In fact I was made to feel au contraire. It hurt my heart, but c'est la vie right? Anyway best of wishes in future gigs. I'm always in your corner as well. -Bryan

    Hey Denise! Congrats on almost touching that dream! Would that dream be performing at the Philly folk festival? I hafta say without a moment's ponder, that the one and only dream I actually HAVE touched is joining the choir. All other dreams I've tried to chase, wound up as rejection. I wasn't even made to feel like I was worthy of acception. In fact I was made to feel au contraire. It hurt my heart, but c'est la vie right? Anyway best of wishes in future gigs. I'm always in your corner as well.
    -Bryan

  • Denise Moser

    Denise Moser

    Hey Bryan, No, it wasn't the folk festival. It was actually something far more precious to me, but I am keeping the details to myself. I am glad that the choir allowed you to touch a dream, and I hope that it is just the first in a long line of dreams that you touch. You are worthy! Thank you for being in my corner. It is appreciated...

    Hey Bryan, No, it wasn't the folk festival. It was actually something far more precious to me, but I am keeping the details to myself. I am glad that the choir allowed you to touch a dream, and I hope that it is just the first in a long line of dreams that you touch. You are worthy! Thank you for being in my corner. It is appreciated...

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