How do you fight? (flash fiction)

Laura still hears echoes. She still hears their voices. She hears hers trying to explain, trying to push past his walls.  She hears his, yelling at her to leave him alone. 
 
Laura couldn’t leave him alone.  She couldn’t leave him alone to leave her. She remembers the exact moment they broke.  She saw the look in his eyes, as they stopped seeing her.
 
Laura hates how it feels to miss him. Sometimes she wonders if they ever really saw each other.  She had thought they were unbreakable. It shocks her that she was wrong.
 
She sits in her kitchen now, with the fallout, and a hot cup of chamomile.  The rain on the window plays the soundtrack to her sorrow, and she finds herself wondering how other people fight.  She believes, deep in herself, that fighting without claws, and kindness through dissonance, are the keys to the castle. 
 
Laura grew up with cold wars and screaming through walls.  She grew up with conflicting loyalties and a broken heart.  It turned her into a peacemaker.  She never learned how to fight.
 
How do you fight? 


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3 comments

  • Harry

    Harry Maine

    when in that most precarious of positions, fighting, i try to remember to breathe first. then, when calm, i attempt to stick to the facts of what occurred before the event escalated; always always trying not to use the word 'you'. then i state the feelings i am able to pinpoint around what is happening...i'm frightened right now by the volume, i was hurt, scared by what was said...not what you said.... it takes hard work and thinking to pull this off amidst the chaos that has ensued or is about to. But it's way worth it, especially with some one you love. then i try to express my needs... i need reassurance, empathy, respect, safety... if i can get in touch with all that; then a simple request can be said 'i would like to take a break for a couple minutes and then resume this conversation when i have calmed down. right now i'm scared and agitated'... if i can't do this, then i would probly resort to old behavior like walking away; simmering to a boiled resentment. oy!

    when in that most precarious of positions, fighting, i try to remember to breathe first. then, when calm, i attempt to stick to the facts of what occurred before the event escalated; always always trying not to use the word 'you'. then i state the feelings i am able to pinpoint around what is happening...i'm frightened right now by the volume, i was hurt, scared by what was said...not what you said.... it takes hard work and thinking to pull this off amidst the chaos that has ensued or is about to. But it's way worth it, especially with some one you love. then i try to express my needs... i need reassurance, empathy, respect, safety... if i can get in touch with all that; then a simple request can be said 'i would like to take a break for a couple minutes and then resume this conversation when i have calmed down. right now i'm scared and agitated'... if i can't do this, then i would probly resort to old behavior like walking away; simmering to a boiled resentment. oy!

  • Denise

    Denise

    That sounds like a good strategy Harry. It is thoughtful, respectful of both yourself and the other person, and it demonstrates that you don't want to injure the relationship. I agree, it can be difficult to pull off sometimes in the midst of being triggered, but well worth the effort and the courage. Thanks for sharing. So appreciated...

    That sounds like a good strategy Harry. It is thoughtful, respectful of both yourself and the other person, and it demonstrates that you don't want to injure the relationship. I agree, it can be difficult to pull off sometimes in the midst of being triggered, but well worth the effort and the courage. Thanks for sharing. So appreciated...

  • Denise

    Denise

    Hey Alle, thanks for sharing that with me. Anger can be tricky to navigate. It sounds like you have a great strategy. I always love when you stop by...

    Hey Alle, thanks for sharing that with me. Anger can be tricky to navigate. It sounds like you have a great strategy. I always love when you stop by...

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